← Distress Tolerance
Willingness over willfulness
Do just what’s needed, from Wise Mind — instead of refusing, forcing, or giving up.
Willingness is
- Doing just what is needed in the situation.
- Focusing on what works.
- Listening to Wise Mind.
Willfulness is
- Refusing to tolerate the moment, or to make needed changes.
- Giving up; doing the opposite of what works.
- Trying to fix everything; insisting on control.
- “What I want, right now.”
Step by step
- Notice the willfulness. Name it. Feel it.
- Radically accept that right now you feel willful.
- Turn your mind toward willingness.
- Try a half-smile and willing hands.
- If it won’t budge, ask: “What’s the threat?”