Building and ending relationships

Finding people, staying mindful of them, and leaving destructive relationships safely.

Finding people

Be around people regularly — classes, groups, work.
Look for shared interests and values.
Small talk matters; ask and answer questions.
Express genuine liking — selectively.
Join open group conversations (people standing apart, gaps in conversation).

Mindfulness of others

Observe with curiosity; stop multitasking.
Describe, don’t assume — no one has ever seen another person’s thoughts.
Give the benefit of the doubt.
Participate; go with the flow.

Ending a relationship

Decide in Wise Mind, never in Emotion Mind.
If it’s important and not destructive, try problem solving first.
Cope ahead and practice what you’ll say.
Be direct: DEAR MAN, GIVE, FAST.
Opposite action for love, if you love the wrong person.

Safety first. Before leaving an abusive or dangerous relationship, call the National Domestic Violence Hotline at 1-800-799-7233 for help with a safety plan.

DEAR MAN Opposite action